This is a little essay in which I attempt to describe some dynamics that may accompany the breaking of an emotional attachment.
First, I use the word "attachment" to mean that two or more people have become emotionally bonded and, thus, breaking the attachment causes pain to some degree.
Second, this pain is experienced regardless of whether the object of a person's emotional attachment is actually good for them or not. In fact, it is possible for people to become attached to things, people, ideas, behaviors, etc., even when they don't even like or want to be around the object of their attachment.
Because breaking an atachment creates pain, it is easy for someone to make a mistake and misjudge that pain to be an indication that, somehow, they actually do like the thing(s), person, idea, or behavior from which they are trying to break away. Falling for such an illusion can undermine a person's resolve to break the attachment and may lead to rationalizations against severing the relationship. If this occurs, a sense of confusion may result because of the espousal of conflicting beliefs (wanting to be rid of whatever it is but feeling pain when trying to actually do just that). At this point, the emotional pendulum effect I have described elsewhere may occur.
However, if a person is aware of the pain they will face when breaking an attachment, that awareness may help them have the presence of mind to realize what is going on emotionally if they happen to feel bad for making what is actually a good decision. For example, if a person gets away from an abusive situation and then feels bad because of the attachment that is being broken, they may be able to see their emotions for what they are. Thus, rather than feeling that they should perhaps go back, they will realize that their feelings of loss will last for a time but will eventually subside. At that point, their life will actually be much better than if they had remained in the situation from which they were fleeing and the feelings to confirm the correctness of the decision will then begin to emerge.
Back to My Observations.